No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
there is puke in my bra ... again
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
