How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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