Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
