It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
