Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
