Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
