I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
