No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
