their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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