this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i think i just lost a toe
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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