I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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