so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You ruined the universe
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
