I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
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It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize