you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Drunk is not a location!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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