at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
