I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
