Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize