had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
