i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
