the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
