Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
