Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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