my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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