Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
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so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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