I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
