It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
