also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
