When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
