am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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