So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
