Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He did a backflip because drugs
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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