some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
