so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
