Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
