Are we in a gay sports bar?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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