Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just google imaged poop.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
