yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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