Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
