the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
