is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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