He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
