he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
