I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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