that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
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We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
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Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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