office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize