i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize