David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
