Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize