He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
