I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
