That's intense
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize