she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
