is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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