I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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