Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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