I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
